Age Discoverer Gifts

"60's not old, it's experienced."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

"She reminds me so much of myself at her age."

Parkinson Ave - Alzheimer Drive

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

This morning I found a thin hair growing out of my knuckle. And so it ends. Your virility, your potential, your conviction, your magnetism, your youth itself

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"I don't get this whole age thing...I waited all year to turn nine, but now I don't feel any older!"

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

Retirement Age

"You should never ask her age unless it's carbon dating."

You know you're middle aged...

"I miss the days when my doctor was older than me!"

'He's at the age where he's too old to be cute and too young be sensible!'

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age world."

'True, he's an old dodderer now, but you should have seen him when he was a young dodderer.'

'Our is NOT a May-December relationship- I'm more like late October, early Novermer.'

Find your doctor.

"For some reason, you do most of the aging in February."

"If you ask me, I'd say he was circa 1945 and she's circa 1965."

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

'I wonder what I'd feel like if I weren't taking vitamins?'

"... Yes, the night is still young. Unfortunately, you're not."

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

'If I'd known I was going to live 900 years, I'd never have opted for early retirement.'

"The knees are the first thing to go."