Age-defying Optimists T-Shirts

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"This birthday qualified him to be tapped as a fossil fuel reserve."

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

Tom's last day.

"Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade."

Research -Development - Wishful Thinking

"Now they're saying 80 is the new 70. So, when's the new dead?"

Do-over

A Stray Curmudgeon in a Field of Perennial Optimists.

World News for 2018

"Room for bigger presents!"

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

The Manifestation of Dreams

Another year older and you look as young as ever! Alcohol is a great preservative!

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

"It's remarkable, Mr. Volmer. You have the clothes of a man half your age!"

'Well if sixty is the new fifty and forty is the new thirty then yes,twenty must be the new ten...'

Out of order, Fountain of Youth

"Well, one good thing about being crocodiles is that we tend to have the beach to ourselves..."

'Don't give up hope, Steve -- they may decided to relocate a football franchise here!'

Wishing Well 10c. . . Second Wish Free

'Joe claims he shot his age today! He also claims he's eighty seven.'

'On a positive note, we're bottom feeders: We can't go lower than that...'

"Of course I'm Cupid...that's an old picture!"

'Warning: Objects in mirror may bear no relation to reality'

Cats Always Land on Their Feet, "So I got this great job the day after we were made redundant"

John awoke feeling more optimistic. "I'm not unemployed - I'm self-employed. There's a difference," he lied.

'I want to look ten years younger.'

Mobility Park.

New ruling on ageism makes a difference.