Aging Optimist T-Shirts

'At my age kiddo, I spend more time answering the call of Nature than the call of the Wild...'

That shows business confidence.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Road Forks in the Road: No Way and Yes Way.

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Six Thinking Hats

"I love your optimism."

Breast Height Chart

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

"I think I can". (train)

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

"It all looks fine to me."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

Highway of Life. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump. Bump.

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

Pollyanna, the Hamster

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"Half-full. Those were the days."

"I've tried to keep one in the past, but it always flew away when my husband came home. So I thought I'd try this method!"