Aging Optimist Gifts

'At my age kiddo, I spend more time answering the call of Nature than the call of the Wild...'

That shows business confidence.

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

What the Thinker was thinking: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Six Thinking Hats

"I love your optimism."

Breast Height Chart

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

"I think I can". (train)

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

'Actually, my mom was the first to notice he'd lost that new boyfriend smell!'

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

'We had no contingency plan for things going right.'

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

'The good news is that from now on I belong to a very rare species. There aren't many personnel managers who create their own pink slip.'

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

"I just think things will work out for the best, and by the best I mean me."

Pollyanna, the Hamster

Doug reasoned that things could be worse...but just how much worse...he wasn't sure??

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

"Oh, don't mind us... We just want to make sure it's really dead."

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

Ahhh, spring baseball.