Age-defying Flirts Mugs

"I'm liver spot spice."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"You new personality that you downloaded off the Internet makes you irresistible."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"I'm starting to look old."

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

'To absent teeth.'

We are 50 going on 15...

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

Senior Pick-Up Lines

"The only way she can still be in her twenties is if her birthday is 29th February!"

"Tell the messenger I'm almost done with my sext."

Christmas Hook Up

"You have a beautiful smile. It would look great in a glass of water next to my bed."

"This one sounds hot - says he's a 'sexagenarian'!"

Tooth Fairy stealing dentures

"Sorry, we're looking for someone younger. Someone who needs to pull a phone out of a pocket to tell the time."

"Of course 60 is the new 59."

"On the other hand, if I die next week this isn't a midlife crisis."

"Who knew they had interns in the Hoover administration."