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Senior Pick-Up Lines

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Recess does things to a man."

'I wouldn't kick her out of bed.'

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

'As a matter of fact, I have the heart of a 30-year-old woman.'

"Bad news. Your use-by date was a month ago."

"I see Joe Bosco passed away." "Yeah. I heard he laid down the boogie and played that funky music til he died."

...The origin of the word daisy is from Anglo Saxon 'Daes Eage,' literally meaning 'days eye' because daisies open at dawn.'

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

'Do you come here often?'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'

"What say we shake things up a bit, and go in and ask for a couple of home-pregnancy test kits."

"The Doctor says it's very rate for the superannuated to get taller."

"Wanna go out?"

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

'Yeah, but this time she just said no -- there wasn't any hysterical laughter!'

'Have a drink while I slip into something comfortable.'

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"Don't let old age get you down. It's too difficult to get up again."

Medical Bling: "Help!" on a rope, Important info, O2 4U, Snazzy 3-prong

Old man has a walking stick case.

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

'Did someone say something?'

Life begins at 60

'Actually, I hate places like this.'

'Sweet, Caroline?'