Age-defying Alchemist Gifts

"SHEESH. What will it be like when I'm eighty?!"

Medicinal plants

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

'Quickly boy, tell me which test tube you drank from?!'

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

"Good news, Mr. Pickett—it's just a slow leak."

"Don't worry, I won't hold my age against you."

"Ha! Now no one can call me 'old'! I just overtook a sports car!"

"Try to remember, you're not 70 any more."

Chemical term for an unpleasant family of maladjusted alkanes.

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'My doctor's given me the all-clear for our Reunion tour.'

'We've travelled tandem all our mrried life!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Be honest- how does it look? I had to leave my laugh lines in for Bill."

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"It's a digital tattoo. It changes every time it's no longer age appropriate."

Still hip, but not much hop.

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

Person who refuses to admit age on board. Feel free to drive with wild and reckless abandon.

"75"

'You know you're 40 when...'

"As a kid I was told, 'Act your age.' As an adult I'm told, 'Don't look your age.'"

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"I'm starting to look old."

"Awww! How long have you been married?"