Aftershock Analyst Pillows

"I've been divorced for six years and I'm still feeling aftershocks."

Turkish Democracy

Truth

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Alabama Traffic Jam

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

How to Do Small Talk??!!

What can I get you, Uncle Mort? An answer. How many countries are we at war with right now? One? … No wait … Two? No wait … Seven? … No wait … oh yeah. The answer is none. If none of them are "declared." Then none of them count as "wars." It's in the Constitution. That's not what the Constitution means!!!

"I got a tweet from Putin NOT to attack Iran."

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

Red State Football

The Human Condition

Who's Dead

Development in Russia after the Soviet Union...

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"Since you retired, you've gone to pieces!"

"No incumbents were harmed in the passage of this stimulus package...."

"Police have no suspects at the present time but believe that the motive for robbery was the desire for increased income."

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

England And The Ashes

The Relentlessly Jovial & Obnoxious Sales-People.