Afterlife Story Lover Pillows

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

The Reaper's Arms

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"From this you make a living?"

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

Gates of heaven

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'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

Post-psychoanalysis

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."