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Reincarnation Dept. Can I live my life over again? No, we only offer sequels, not remakes.

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

"It's true: no more burpees."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

The Reaper's Arms

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

..and with our new spirit website you can keep in touch with all your dead friends!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"From this you make a living?"

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'It's sad in a way -- just when he was declaring victory.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

'Even down here we never lose our sense of humor!'

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

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"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

Gates of heaven

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Post-psychoanalysis