Afterlife Architect Gifts

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

'For our next party, let's invite a carpenter, a painter and an upholsterer so they can help us clean up afterward.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh nooo, we can't skip church. Why, we'll just sleep when we're dead!"

A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

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Gates of heaven

Postcards from Heaven...

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

'You still can't take it with you, but we now offer cloud storage for intellectual properties.'

'Boy, that felt good! I can see why the devil has so much fun. And no, I'm not letting you in! But tell him I said hello.'

Heaven

"If you can't take it with you, this must be Hell."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

Post-psychoanalysis

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'