Afterlife Stylist Gifts

Most folks just go with the white.

"Welcome to Vanity Workshop. For the next thousand years you're to read out the size labels you've removed from your clothing."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Surgery up here is free!"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

"All we have left is standing room only."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'We've re-branded.'

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

'Stocks plummeted on news of your demise.'

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

"From this you make a living?"

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

'He lived and died for golf.'

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

"You're a physician? Let me ask you about a problem that I've been having."

"You run into a window, too?"

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

"I was a primary school teacher. What did you do?"

Gates of heaven

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A Male Angel throwing his Halo as a Frisbee for his Dog to catch.

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

Postcards from Heaven...