Aficionado Of Satire Pillows

"Our staff communications protocols demand that we translate this mumbo-jumbo into gobbledygook."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

reincarnated worm...

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

The height of fashion in 1796

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Hoskins, try saying 'profits are up' without the finger quotes, okay?"

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I don't like the looks of that!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

Pets are reading the book 'Animal Farm'.

"Better than a business model, I have a business scheme."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."