Affection Analyst T-Shirts

"I was studying the dog's behaviour and had an epiphany! The more affection I fake, the more benefit I get. It's life transforming..."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Childlike love

Love Birds love snuggles

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

I can't smile without you...

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

You just keep giving.

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Love for the family

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

Be my Valentine!

The first time I saw you Cupid must have fired an arrow....And he hasn't stopped yet.

A couple holding hands

Mum Hearts.

Lover's leap and Infatuation leap.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

Kissing.

Somewhere in France Gertie Anne Grapples With An Idee Fixe

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'