Affection Analyst Pillows

"I was studying the dog's behaviour and had an epiphany! The more affection I fake, the more benefit I get. It's life transforming..."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I love that you still call me 'honey'."

Love Birds love snuggles

Childlike love

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

I can't smile without you...

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I used to know my wife's fondest dreams and desires, but now I leave that to Google."

You just keep giving.

'First date with a logician - These venn Diagrams will save us a lot of time. We'll see where you fit in, where I fit in, and if any of it overlaps'

"These feelings of yours aren't unusual - in fact, several of them have Web sites."

Deconstructionist girlfriend

Be my Valentine!

The first time I saw you Cupid must have fired an arrow....And he hasn't stopped yet.

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

A couple holding hands

Mum Hearts.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

Love for the family

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."

"I'm competitive,cruel,glad when my friends fail...I've no idea why I'm here."

Kissing.

Somewhere in France Gertie Anne Grapples With An Idee Fixe

"I gave up on finding Mr. Right and settled for Mr. Chocolate!"

The Giant Guardsman Chapters IX and x.

'Love is a subconscious recognition of matching neuroses.'