Aerophobia Sympathizer T-Shirts

"I was afraid to fly when I was mortal, and I'm afraid to fly now."

"Here we are."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"Emergency exits are located on both sides of the cabin...."

"Pencil eraser."

Terminal Illness.

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Members of the Luddite community carving computers from solid blocks of oak and maple

'For claustrophobia. Take two tablets right before hiding under the bed.'

Remorse code

Rubbing alcoholics anonymous.

"I'm still waiting for an apology!"

'My hay fever is really acting up.'

Rare Duck Phobias.

'Flamin' tourists...'

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

'He won't go back into his house until I check to make sure the spider is gone.'

"Bloody satellites..!"

'Dude, seriously...Turn down the A.C.'

'Awfully glad you could make it,old boy and please excuse the gloves,won't you?'

"I like to come out here and watch planes sit on the tarmac for hours, then see everyone get kicked off and rebooked for tomorrow."

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

'Gervaisaphobia': The feeling that Ricky Gervais is everywhere.

"I swear! As soon as she saw me, she jumped onto a chair and started screaming! It was hilarious..."

'I'm allergic to sand.'

Old Men on Rockers.

An elephant sneezes all over its trainer - 'Gesundheit...!'

Achooo

'Now that we've boarded our first class, priority, gold priority, business class, premium and gold star passengers - is there anyone else left?'

"I keep telling you - vertigo is NOT a fear of heights!"

Phobia varietals for home pots