Advocate For Shorter Workweeks Pillows

...and don't forget to ask them for more overtime.

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

"Where we lack in productivity is made up by extremely low employee turnover."

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

"We offer 104 vacation days...otherwise known as weekends."

"Miss Ross, get me a motivational speaker."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"Consider this job a reality show where you work your butt off 14 hours a day. If you win, you'll get a paycheck and the chance to do it all over again next week."

King Kong Takes a Personal Day

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

"How are you enjoying the job?" "Oh, Ilove the job...it's the work that I hate."

'It says it works so fast, it's accumulated seven thousand years of vacation with pay.'

'No days off, no paid overtime, no benefits...this job is killing me!'

'Time to leave your comfort zone, Hoskins.'

"Sorry, you can't cash in your vacation time. Since you didn't use it, tell it Bon Voyage!"

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"I finally found a stress ball adequate for my role."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"He gets his best ideas that way."

"It's bad. He's not even responding to my emails."

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'It's coffee time Earl, take a break.'

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

"It's his dream job ... "

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

"Your dad says he's sorry. . . he'll be late for Christmas. He got hung up at work, again."

'Management is very concerned about 'work life' balance, particularly where back room staff are concerned...We think you give too much, you need to get your lives back.'

"Your wife's on the phone...."