Advocate For College Students Pillows

'I'm not unsympathetic, but there's just not much we can do for people who run away from college.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Staff Yearbook

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Gold versus Knowledge

"SUPERintendent! What kind of powers do you have?"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'

Good writing is good thinking

'Kids, you can all do it! Latest scientific research shows that you're smarter than previously believed.'

Piorities in Minnesota.

'Education is very important. Let's go buy three liters of books so we can learn!'

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

Global Education

'There's more than one kind of deficit.'

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'

First addition, then subtraction, then multiplication, and now this! Where is it all going to end?"

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"