Advice-giving Pillows

'You're better off without him.'

'My best advice? Never miss an opportunity to pass water...'

"When I want your advice, I'll ask for it... but in an oblique, face-saving way."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

"Listen to me, Nathan. Chicks love bad boys."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

'I took your advice and told him either I get a raise or I quit!'

'You are doing it wrong.'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Look, you're the one who asked me for some girl advice."

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'Where you went wrong' Desk.

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

"I'm a doctor - I'm SUPPOSED to be a health nut!"

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

'I've fallen in love and i've fallen in porage and believe me: porage is better.'

The girl with the sensible shoes.

'Learn to relax and don't bottle yourself up.'

"You need to stop eating that sh*t."

"A word to the wise..or is it a word from the wise? I always get it mixed up."

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

'You have to give up this devil-may-care fattitude.'

'I just had to stop by and thank you for all the advice...'