Advertising Humor Fan Pillows

'I'd like you to come up with a catchy jingle that'll give people a headache everytime it's played.'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

The Brothers Grime

10 K Tail-Chase

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

The Snooze Bar.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Beer Parasol.

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

tRUMp, Pirate President

"Well, you were late and her boyfriend didn't turn up for their wedding, so....."

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Real Estate Krisp Flakes: Location! Location! Location!

"I fell to the ground from a height of about two metres when I was born: My very first stunt!"

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

No, I don

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

Take me to your market leader.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

'All she said was something about having rice for dinner and then poof!. . . She's gone!'

'It will be a difficult adjustment, but it doesn't mean you can't still live a full and rewarding life, say, in the library, or even a miniature golf course.'

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

The bird feeder.

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'

"Fish finder."

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Presidential surveillance ass!"

'To satisfy our stockholders, we'll draw stars to see which of us will be hung in effigy.'