Adversity Warrior Gifts

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

Fight or Flight

"Try thinking about something else."

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

That party went well.

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

"Why can't I get anything done unless I'm totally stressed out about it?" "Is it possible to be relaxed and still be productive?" "What is wrong with my brain?" "Why don't you work better?"

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Flu vaccine.

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"I'd like to be a shake-it-off kind of person, but I'm more of a cling-to-it-and-focus-on-it-until-it's-irrevocably-weaved-into-my-psyche sort of gal."

Art of Surviving

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

'You have a fauxbia.'

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

'You're not paranoid, due to terrorism, feeling anxious all the time is the 'new normal'.'

"I can't have anything that's a food."

"It's good you feel ready to confront your demons. Unfortunately, they're reluctant to face you."

'No we don't have any fly vaccine yet - how about something for anxiety. . . we have plenty of that.'

Bring your problems to work day.

"A valiant effort, Mike, but just accept that you're going bald."

Being-convinced your plants always know what you're thinking phobia.

"You must try to relax more"

'Hello Doctor. I'm Ed Shannon and these are my neuroses.'

New Hair Cloning Technology.

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."