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Art of Surviving

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"God help us, it's that guy."

'Two men having a sword fight with large pen and pencil.'

"All in favor of telling Anderson about that thing stuck to his lip, say aye."

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

"You look like the kind of folks who laugh at adversity."

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A man jumps out of a window to avoid an injection.

'So, just how long were you at the School of Hard Knocks?'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

'I can never do anything with my hair phobia.'

"It was at this point St. Paul felt like he could not catch a break!"

Uncomfortably open Mike night.

Bob had a lot to prove – which happens when you're wrong most of the time.

"I only grown them because her mother's allergic to them."

"You smell like wet cardboard."

"I realized that she'd never overcome her shyness, so I had to let her go."

'You've got to wonder what goes on in their heads...'

Idlewild.

"Have you talked to Baldo about girls lately?"

"I'm not sure I can make it next week."

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

Well, I told you she fancied me!

"Johnson gave it to Bradley to give to Webster to give to Adams..."

D*mn it.

"You're a very interesting waiter, but don't you have any other tables to take care of?"

'At the end the tunnel, my parents were waiting to greet me. Mom looked nice, but as usual, Dad was walking around in his underwear. I nearly died.'

'Maybe we could save appendectomy scars until the second date!'

"Bury your head in the paper, that's your anwser to everything isn't it?"

"Are you going to help with the washing up?"

Son, it's time you learned about the birds and the bees and the dung beetles