Adversarial Humorists Gifts

Targeted Advertising

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"Darn autocorrect!"

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Our cloud computing services include IaaS, PaaS, SaaS, NaaS, CaaS...and BaaS!"

'Do you want your pie-chart with everything?'

"They don't appear to want to take over. They just want to dance."

TECHNICAL SUPPORT, 'Have you tried pounding it with your fist?'

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"I.T. says these new laptops they gave us come loaded with all the latest viruses."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Join the protest march, I'm lonely.

I'm not saying he's dumb, but talking to him is like talking to a firewall.

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'Grandpa says that, in his day, he had to walk 20 miles in the snow just to steal music.'

"One human arm torn off by a roomba - starting bid is 500 volts."

'They had a lot more authority on horses, don't you think? It's hard to take them seriously on those things.'

To put your right foot in, press 5...to take it out, press 6... to put...

"Lets take this conversation off line..."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

Fauna Hybrids

"Welcome to the team, Mr Ware. What did you say your first name was?"

"Step 10 paces, turn and post your opinion on facebook."

'Enjoy yourself...take time to smell the plastic flowers.'

'He has mixed feelings about the trophy — it's a lifetime achievement award from the Anarchists' Association.'

'I'd give you me pot o' gold but I forgot me PIN number!'

"Actually, I'm from New Jersey. The nickname comes from thirty years in the textile business."

'Password, password - come on Memory!'

"An example of my game cheat skills is that I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this games tester interview."

"You use tech language that I don't understand, so I brought an interpreter."