Adventure Rider T-Shirts

'You were going too slow...then you were going too fast. You hit every pothole and you're making the turns too wide. And another thing...'

'All those years I rode those small bikes...well, as you can see, those days are over.'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

"Your tires are spinning and you're stuck."

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

Fish or Cut Bait

'I think we lost track of time. Our wives put out a missing persons report out on us, and half the state is looking for us.'

The next fast train has gone.

"But I wasn't running in the hall."

Caution, Student Self-Driver

Baby on Board, Mother on Edge.

Solar car with automatic navigation system, automatically choosing sunny routes.

'I think I've found what's causing the radio's funny buzzing sound.'

Santa Harley

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Tourist sunbathing on Easter Island beach

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 1

"Sir, one of the floor models is turning off customers, and I think it's doing it on purpose."

'No, you don't get extra credit for a creative parking technique!'

Now Entering Wyoming (or one of those other rectangular states that are out west someplace).

Mexicans always drink their tequila with a lemon and a little salt!

No sooner had he taken the shot when the elephant suddenly charged him!

'I thought you said the kids were in the back.'

"Isn't 85 the new 55?"

Alternative Airport

"It's amazing how smoothly Kipper and I get along together..."

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Malcolm realised too late that he didn't have opposable thumbs.

"I want to explore the brutal and true civilisation, to explore lands on troubled by tourist boards, and if you could sort five-star accommodation and decent Wi-Fi that would be perfect."

"I'm sorry, but nine Greek islands in seven days is just too much."

New York Sightseeing Cruises