Adventure Gourmet Gifts

Survivalists Snack Stop.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Holiday Supplies

I wish I'd had the review.

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Man's cooking explodes.

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"