Adventure Gourmet Pillows

Survivalists Snack Stop.

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

La Table

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

I wish I'd had the review.

Holiday Supplies

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Man's cooking explodes.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

Platter confusion.

"We can hit any creperie you want, sonny boy."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.