Adulting Expert Pillows

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

'Let's strike a deal. If you'll let me buy the premium beer, I promise not to throw a tantrum in the checkout lane.'

"... No, I don't think Mummy and Daddy would be happy if you moved in with me. Because I still live with them."

Condom Delivery

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Three kids in a trench coat, twenty years later.

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Pre-Old Blues

'Where Are They Now?'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Sorry. I'm out of leprecondoms."

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"So, next week, if it's okay with our wives, wanna have another playdate?"

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"I just don't know what to do with myself in that long stretch after college but before social security."

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'No need to make a judgement, King Solomon, we can run a DNA test.'

'No we are not there yet, we're just leaving our drive!'

Al, you need to get over your childish desire for a pony. It's not childish, doctor. I only started wanting one last week.

Other People

"Awake and doing great"