Adult Entertainment Aficionado T-Shirts

North Pole Sex Toy Testing Lab

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Fist Bumper Cars

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

May all your birthday wishes come true..

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

'Just remember, he's bigger, but you're funnier. As soon as he starts laughing, you've got him!'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'Another balloon animal? And who do you think ends up taking care of these?'

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Hollywood Breakup

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'I hope this DVD has some worthwhile in-front-of-the-scenes content.'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"This is what I call a home entertainment centre."

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."