Adolescent Adventurer Gifts

"Baldo, wash that phony hicky off your neck! Hickies are disgusting and tacky. I don't think any girl with any taste would think otherwise."

"Dude, we are not setting the neighbor's house on fire this year!"

'Son, your mom and me are sick of bearing a capriciously, pubescent teenager. We decided to change you into a goldfish.'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

"Would you like some wings?"

Child driving a toy car

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Kids with Fish Balloons

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

Shoot For The Moon

'I know he followed you home but you can't keep him.'

Mistaken baby ducks.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

Statue of Liberty from the Staten Island Ferry trip.

"I've always wanted to live on a lake so I can go boating and fishing. Since we don't live on a lake, I thought I'd make my own."

"If nothing else, school has prepared me for a lifetime of backpacking."

'You must all promise never to divulge what you are about to see.'

'I'm trying to get my competence and my confidence in the same place.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

Childhood

Little Pink Girl and Her Pink Horse

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

"Kids."

Swinging on the Chandelier

Local, free-range bug juice.