Addiction Recovery Comic Pillows

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Super Heroes.

"Eat me"

My God, I need to fart.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

No littering...

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

The Alpha Seltzer

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'