Addiction Recovery Comic T-Shirts

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

The Alpha Seltzer

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

Super Heroes.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Eat me"

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

My God, I need to fart.

No littering...

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"Take two pies to the face and call me in the morning."

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"