Comic Relief Fanatic T-Shirts

"Make him take 15 of these a day until we feel better about what we're doing to him!"

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

You Are Here

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

10K Run: Smoker's Lane.

Cat with Lion reflection in mirror

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

Super Heroes.

'You're not supposed to catch them!'

The Alpha Seltzer

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"Did you check the SPF, dear?"

"Eat me"

"Wait—what did I come into this room to do?"

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

My God, I need to fart.

No littering...

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

When Dinosaurs ruled the Earth.

'I say we invade and secure all those renewable resources.'

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"