Ad-weary Warrior Gifts

"My life is one unending pop-up ad."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

"First break since 2008."

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

Burn out

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Facebook's business model

'Ecchh! Six weeks on the road! - Lousy food, lousy motels. . . but there's good, too. . . like heading back home.'

"A 15 page 'to do' list is a 'don't do' list."

"I want to get in touch with my inner child. I need the tech support."

"Well, sure, it LOOKS like a straightforward plea to buy our product...but for safety we better run it by the legal department

It seemed to Elsa that the advertising pop-ups become more and more intrusive day by day...

"I'm trying to determine if the aches and pains are from an injury or just my new normal."

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

"Those political ads are about to make me sick!"

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

"I'll be walking by your door in a second if you want to try to get my attention."

"It's a new tweet from our teacher. She wants us to turn off our phones."

Stressed Office Junior

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

You've been staring at that screen all day. Why don't you do something else?

'Maybe your computer is flipping into sleep mode is because it's 1:30 in the morning and time to go to bed.'

'To get away from his video games, we sent him to camp for a month. All they do is play video games there.'

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

The anti-social network: 'In other words, you want to help the internet blow itself up.'

Bruce Lee with dangerous mouse.

'Don't get smart with me!'

Screen Addiction

"I'm way past mid-life crisis and knee-deep in old age rage!"