Ad Humorists Pillows

"I miss the scratch 'n' sniff ads."

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

'...and so you see our profits, not unlike Sir Isaac Newton, have felt the effects of gravity.'

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

Barbeque Casualty.

"The Eggsorcist"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

Snowman ice fishing.

'It's not a desert island - it's Australia.'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Small country advertisng at the Olympics

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

'Ugh, we've got termites, destructive little pests.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"Well, I'm not a lone wolf on purpose! I was separated from my pack over three months ago and I can't find it again. . ."

'No, Rusty, this one! You're barking up the wrong tree.'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"I've invented the wheel. We're going to be rich."

"About time they did something about the rats!"

'I don't know why I'm so unpopular - I haven't got a nasty bone in my body.'

Mask Autumn

Remain calm, we need to talk. We don't want to alarm you. Run for your life! Oh boy. The economic news is not good. It's apocalyptic. We both lived through the depression. More like barely survived. We're seeing parallels -- lack of government investment, no-tax policies ... Fire, disease, bad cellphone coverage ... You're enjoying this too much. you said I could. Spend cautiously, Rudy. Have a back-up plan. Sell your gadgets, buy canned goods. Oh boy.

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

Punch Initials - O

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'Go on Darling, play in the soil-pit for a while...'

'I hired a motivational speaker once, but unfortunately all of my employees left to get better jobs.'