Action Hero Wannabe Gifts

"How much weight can it hold?"

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"I've been genetically modified!"

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

Zorro as a child.

Inaction Figure

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

'I'm sure I could lie on my back waving my feet in the air if I could play the saxophone.'

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

"Sure we'll get in trouble, but our science grades will make up for it."

'I'm with the band.'

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

Mayhem, Inc. Part 20

Spiderman at the Improv

"And now the award for..."

'002' - A discussion about 007.

'So, were we entertained tonight, or just bludgeoned into submission?'

'... And as soon as I get out of here, I'm going back to that karate school to demand a full refund!'

Stuntmen Directions

"So I hear you did your own stunts in this movie."

"Ok, and now my feature presentation, please put on your 3D glasses."

"Don't get too excited. Getting a filling does not make you a cyborg."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'Friend or foe?'

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

Saving up for lessons.

Lost your helmets during the battle, huh? Who's laughing now?

HD television.