Action Aficionados T-Shirts

"Let's see...how would Arnie handle this?"

"We're done with Baby Einstein. We're on to Baby Bruckheimer."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

...the all-terrain skateboard.

"Hugh fans!"

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Steve McQueen

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Frank & Ernest. Signe Painted. Cosmetology Dept. That should be "cosmology"! Why do you always get those two confused? I always think the one about space should have an "et" in it.

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

They soon changed their name..

The mission: Impossible burger.

Marine-LAPD Ridealongs

Sylvester Stallone

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

'Therapy in L.A.'

Commando crashes into wall, instead of through window.

"I do all my own stunts"

Film Stuntman School

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis in 'Wise men 3'.

The Wickerman (Hollywood style)

Arnold Schwarzenneger caricature.

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

Stuntmen Directions

"The big screen really brings out the violence."

Just shut the hell up and say action!