Accountability Avengers Pillows

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Under new blame.

Scapegoat of the Year

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Working in a blame culture?

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

Facebook in Crisis

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'It's not our fault.'

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

Nassar is caught while MSU officials remain.

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.

'Stick to your diet or our talking scale will rat you out!'

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'I'm a man of my word! Once I've made a wrong decision, I stick to it!'

'Today's seminar will focus on individual accountability in the workplace. I did not deliver the handouts to the printer on time, soe we won't be able to refer to them. it's not my fault.'

"I wasn't responsible for those sins."