Accountability Pillows

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

"First of all, let's find out who blew the whistle on us."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'I was asked to attend a meeting on Accountability in Education. Harold, how long will it take for you to teach me the art of camouflage?'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Has this got anything to do with MP's expenses, Sheila?

Credit

Sheila Fraser's To-Do List.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Under new blame.

Scapegoat of the Year

The Female Brain and The Other One

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Working in a blame culture?

Johnson and Johnson will pay 572 million for Opioids

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

BP is compensating those affected by the black tide in Gulf of Mexico...

Investigating Yourself

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

Facebook in Crisis

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

Jobless Recovery

'It's not our fault.'

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

Civilian Oversight

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"