Accountability Pillows

'Naughty, nice, nice, nice, naughty, nice. This you call a business plan?'

"First of all, let's find out who blew the whistle on us."

Owning your mistakes at work shows that you hold yourself accountable, and builds trust and credibility.

"But if I don't know the corporate values then I'm not accountable to them."

'I was asked to attend a meeting on Accountability in Education. Harold, how long will it take for you to teach me the art of camouflage?'

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Wait Brian! You forgot the little Airbus chapter!

Has this got anything to do with MP's expenses, Sheila?

Credit

Sheila Fraser's To-Do List.

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Under new blame.

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Scapegoat of the Year

The Female Brain and The Other One

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice a favourite, and entrusted by his master.

Working in a blame culture?

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"You don't need pronouns in your presentation. That's what finger-pointing is for."

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

Facebook in Crisis

'You'll notice on my resume that nothing has ever been my fault.'

'Ms Simpson? Get me the Scapegoat du Jour.'

"We've got a new customer, Eddy: run a couple of kegs over to the Supreme Court."

Jobless Recovery

'It's not our fault.'

Making Amends: I haven't harrassed anyone in weeks....My new career: I'll be a secretary....to a female executive. Women can harass em all they life. I sentence myself to house arrest for 30 days, make that 90 days.

Be prepared to issue a public whoopsie.

'Management can't avoid responsibility for poor patient care...I want to tender my resignation!'

'The new business plan is the same as the old business plan except that, due to layoffs, we have less scapegoats to blame in case of failure.'

"Who do I hold accountable if you miss the deadline? Any next of kin?"

"Why do you call it a thyroid problem when it's been giving me an excuse for the 20 pounds I gained this year?"

"That's the danger of mono tasking...you're too easily held accountable."

New in fitness: Health club truancy officers.

United States Senate Ethics Committee - All members being investigated.