Account Director Gifts

Company Creamer Turned Sour: 'I hope the account director likes his coffee chunky-style. Or maybe I should hold out for the son of the CEO.'

'The wheel was great, but what have you done for me lately?'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'How fast can you hype?'

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"#Win!"

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

The Rubber Ball Company

Bright idea

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Deep in the heart of the RAND think tank, the world's greatest scientists would gather to brainstorm Batman's fight sounds.

Creative department

'The cash bonus incentives don't appear to be having the desired results. So, I've hired Rocky, here. He'll be providing the heads of the least productive departments with his own brand of incentive. If you know what I mean.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Signs: Sales, Profit and Media coverage.