Accounts Executive Gifts

"Once upon a time, there was an accounts executive with a 25 year endowment mortgage and redundancy looming on the horizon.."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

Hollywood Sign Developers

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

A fight in the Boardroom.

'OK, team, let's review: when the arrow goes down, it means...?

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"