Accidental Dancer Pillows

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

'It wasn't premeditated.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'He has a learning disorder.'

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

Monk Parrot.

"You blame this on the 4 martinis I drank. I blame it on the Bossa Nova."

'- and I was so embarrassed last night, you danced like a man with two left fe----!!!'

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'Everything's fine. Your dad just bought one of these 'How-to-talk-to-teenagers' videos...'

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

Hair trigger

People in the office heeded the warning that sitting too long in front of a computer was bad for their health.

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

90% Wool, 10% Lycra

"Last time, eat your greens or your dad does the Trump Dance...."

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."