Accidental Dancer Pillows

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

No one knew it, but Gerald was about to execute what he called 'The Move.'"

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

"Larry does all his own stunts."

Bathing and Showering.

'He has a learning disorder.'

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

"She doesn’t fetch or roll over or anything really, but she’s a terrific whistler."

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

Monk Parrot.

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'- and I was so embarrassed last night, you danced like a man with two left fe----!!!'

"You blame this on the 4 martinis I drank. I blame it on the Bossa Nova."

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

'Everything's fine. Your dad just bought one of these 'How-to-talk-to-teenagers' videos...'

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

Hair trigger

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

"Last time, eat your greens or your dad does the Trump Dance...."

A skier who has hit a solitary tree

90% Wool, 10% Lycra

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

Well whose idea was it to try salsa on rollerblades?