Accidental Clown Gifts

'You're being unreasonable,Hank. Me dropping your 17-pound bass was an accident.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Desert Island Mishap

The sad fate of Isaac Newton's Tahitian counterpart.

'...Plus $847.93 for replacing our front door....'

'It wasn't premeditated.

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"Larry does all his own stunts."

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

Bathing and Showering.

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'He has a learning disorder.'

Fisher being dragged along by catch.

A statue of a baseball player swinging a bat stands next to a building with a broken glass window.

'I was directing my feet to the sunny side of the street, and a BEER TRUCK got me.'

Oh, hey, want me to take that?

"Of course your dad loves the roller-skates you got him. He just went through the door with them."

"Now he decides to start work on the crazy paving."

"Sorry Pardner, but this is fool's gold!"

"Man, Clowns really creep me out. . ."

'My hubby is unusually handy about the house. . . unusual in that, he is always the problem to the solution!'

"Oh, come on. If it had happened to me you'd've laughed too."

Upon winning another bowling championship, Dalton throws his ball to the spectators.

'See??. . . No such thing as monsters in the closet. . . or evil clowns under the bed. . . Now, try and get some sleep little one!!'

Hair trigger

The best place for a dartboard is not beside an open window.

'During my trip around the World, I took some pictures with this new digital camera... here is my finger covering the lens in Sidney... here in New York... Rome... Lisbon... Hamburg...'

"I thought they were supposed to comeback."

"Whoa! Looks like a worker's comp thing, Carl."

Emergency Ward - "The handle fell off his shooting stick, and he forgot!"

'George just can't help himself....He has to 'act-up' in front of a camera!'

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

Banana Warning

It's so nice talking to you while I'm driving, it helps to break up the monotony!