Accident Philosopher T-Shirts

"I totally wiped out on my bike."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"They're very time-sensitive."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'You're lucky. At least you know your troubles aren't psychosomatic!'

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Chicken: the one-man show

Personnel. You've learned from your mistakes? Wow! I feel awed in the presence of so much education!

Lost and forgotten department

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

I've come back here to remember what I forgot in the first place.

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

"Now, what am I here for?"

Hell's Ethics

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Annual Amnesiacs Convention.

'Oh well, I had to take it in to get the oil changed anyway.'

'He's forgotten his key again!'

'Ignore him, he always makes such a fuss when he has a cold.'

'You are now entering Samville. Samville needs a ride.'

Dice with death.

'I never finished college, but the $60,000 my parents spent on my education should count for something.'

"Where did you last have everything?"

Highway cone tepee.