Accident Lawyer Pillows

"My client tried to get out the back door..."

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Barbeque Casualty.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

A fellow participating in many activities and everything is fine until someone bumps his car and then his back hurts,

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

Injured? I told you so but you didn't listen

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Sling

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'