Accident Attorney Pillows

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Barbeque Casualty.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Big slipper.

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'This is your lucky day!'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'I'd say you have a water-tight case there, boys.'

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

Snowman about snowman fallen on ice: 'Obviously they would have had time to clear the ice.'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

A fellow participating in many activities and everything is fine until someone bumps his car and then his back hurts,

Lawyer to client: 'Yes, your turnover at the pastry shop would fall under tort law.'

'He tripped over a pavement sign that said 'Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault?' So he called the number and sued them'

'Does that mean no sex tonight?'

Injured? I told you so but you didn't listen

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

Sling

"...And your underpants were unusually clean for someone who got hit by a bus."

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

Crashed saucer, man running, vanity license plate reads 'AXDNTLAW'

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I never would've encouraged you to step out of your comfort zone if I'd known you were such a klutz."

'It's lucky for you your legs are O.K.!'

Lawyer to client: 'Your slip and fall on ice would have more credibility if you weren't drinking ice tea at the time ... at South Beach.'