Accident-averse Artisan Gifts

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Lovely dovetail."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

First aid departments

'Another nice wave.'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

The hall of bad ideas.

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

"Any beaver can cut down trees, but marquetry, now that's art."

'I know just how you feel.'

'I'm knitting a scarf for my son.'

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

"I see you've got a new cheese counter."

Gentrification of the Fridge.

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

'We're having leftover-a-la-king!'

Pottery Sale

Wife to doctor about husband: 'It was a freak accident. He was doing some work on the house.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Water Ski Accident

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

"Just how long has Murray been retired?"

'Guess what? I'm going to be on 'World's Worst Drivers'!'

Annual sportknitting Derby

Ice Sculpture.

Now at the Farmers' Market

'He does it every year - we call it his winter break.'