Accident Avenger Pillows

Health and safety nightmare.

'Hello, I'm phoning from my car '.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

"I think your idea of stress relief is drastic!"

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

The hall of bad ideas.

'-but surely it's unusual to have nightmares with COMMERCIALS?'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

'Sure, sure... I'm having a great vacation.'

"What am I up to? I'm collecting human rubbish floating on the ocean and I'll dump it in front of their parliament!"

'I see, from your resume, that you have lost your last two jobs because of lateness.'

Chemical Waste.

Man sells IRS insurance outside IRS building.

Sometimes Colin found it difficult to get back into the office routine.

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

'Boy, has it ever been a long day. I only took an hour for lunch.'

Now this is Dr. Brainstorm, he's trying to breed a moth that will eat synthetics.

Cartoon characters unable to instantly recover from catastrophic injuries support group.

"I'm convinced ... we have PCB's, DDT's and mercury our streams!"

'Paramedic' 'Doctor' 'Clean underpants man'

'I thought putting it up there would deter ordinary folk from using it.' (Disabled Parking Space).

Rental Car Return. By the way, the airbags worked great!

Dear Diary....have been thinking about my boss all morning!

"Dr. Scholl encounters his arch enemy... FlatFoot."

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

Wicked E number in an ingredients

'Have we been dumping chemicals in the swamp?'

"I own you, homework assignment!"

The Ultimate Pessimist: "The glass is half empty and what's in it is toxic."

"Got anything to speed up her galloping hayfever?"

I'll have a gluten-free, hypoallergenic vegan cookie with whipped hand-sanitizer topping. Is your whipped hand-sanitizer organic? Totally. There's not a thing in it that can possibly hurt you. Can you BOIL the cookie just to be sure? That'll be extra.

'Baxter wouldn't hurt a fly. Unfortunately fleas are another matter.'

I'm self employed being self employed

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'