Acceptance Gifts

The coolest thing you can do is be yourself

Prejudice/Empathy

'Thank you for accepting me the way I am.'

'Thank you for accepting me the way I am.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"There's no need to be em'bear'rassed about what you like!"

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'You are doing it wrong.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

"This tiny bald spot where your hairline used to be is so-o-o cute!"

Pinara fund

'Cat Lit. You?'

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

Cover Design for Cambridge ABC (Student Magazine)

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

Congratulations!

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'