Academic Youtuber T-Shirts

Bleh! What's up, little man? I can't figure out how to start my essay on integrity and honesty. Oh yeah. I once wrote one of those. Excellent. Can I use yours? Honestly?

"If this goes badly I'm going to post it on my youtube job interview bloopers channel."

Scarcity

You wrote a book report on a video game instruction manual?

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'And in conclusion.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'Hard or soft science?'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Max Weber

A Brain Drain

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

Chaos Theory Conference.

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"For the hundredth time—I have no idea how to make crystal meth."

"I've decided to have a kid."

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

University of Hard Knocks

Books on running a successful school,

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

'Medea' Studies

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

The Milbrook Verney chair in literature. The C.K. Frebish endowment for footnotes.

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

Undergraduate and don

Graduate of 2021