Academic Sleuth T-Shirts

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'You've been killing files again.'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

GM Crops Genie.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

Undercover Biophysicists

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Newton's Law and Order.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''

'Leaves glow away...Apples fall to the ground...Ah, ha. Apples are heavier than leaves.'