Academic Sleuth T-Shirts

"Unfortunately, what you downloaded from the net is a ten-year-old paper I once wrote for my college boyfriend!"

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'You've been killing files again.'

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

Undercover Biophysicists

Newton's Law and Order.

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

GM Crops Genie.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'...but our most useful publication is the 'Journal of Don't-Do-It: It's-Already-Been-Done.''